A mirror
by Cala Akina Morushiku
Summary: A look into each of the characters inner thoughts and fears. If anyone has seen Neon Genesis Evangelion, this is like that.


**AN: Well, this morning I was watching Neon Genesis Evangelion and if anyone's seen it, you know that it's a total mind trip. I was thinking about trying to apply that to Avatar. The italic font is Zuko's doubts, his inner self and the regular font arejust his thoughts, his reactions to his doubt. Try to picture Zuko staring at himself in mirror with a totally blank face while you read this.**_

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_What are you afraid of?_

I fear nothing. I fear not the cry of battle, not the sword, not the flame, nothing. I fear nothing.

_What are you afraid of?_

I told you; I fear nothing.

_Then why can't you capture the Avatar?_

It's impossible. He slips through my fingers. It won't happen again.

_Why can't you capture the Avatar?_

It's not my fault.

_Why can't you?_

It's not my fault!

_Are you afraid of the Avatar?_

Do I fear a child? No, why would I fear a child?

_Perhaps he is too powerful…_

I fear nothing.

_You fear your father_

With good reason

_And you hate him for it…_

I do not hate my father. Why should I hate the man who took care of me? Who clothed me? Who fed me? Who granted me the honor of being in his presence?

_You hate him…_

I would never hate my father.

_You hate your father…_

Shut up…

_You hate him_

Does it make a difference?

_You are constantly unhappy. _

I am unhappy because I have been stuck on the same boat for the past two years. I can't manage to capture the Avatar. The little devil is impossible to catch. The gods must have something against me…

_You let him escape…_

Never! That would be the stupidest thing to do! Are you calling me an idiot?

_You don't want to go home_

Stop telling me things about myself. You don't know me.

_Yes, I do_

No, you don't. You are just my doubts. Everyone has doubts. I can banish you just as easily as…

_As Ozai did you…_

Stop it.

_You don't want to go home because you hate him. You don't want to be around him. For the past two years, you have been secretly happy to be away. You hated your life there._

I loved my life. I was happy.

_Were you?_

Of course.

_You cried too much to be truly happy._

I was a child.

_Children do not cry as often as you did._

It doesn't matter….

_You hate your father. And you hate him because you fear him. You fear that no matter what you do, he will never love you. Just like your mother, and your sister, and your uncle, and your once-friends…you constantly fear rejection. You fear that people will never like you. You are afraid of those around you and so you shut them out._

I do not.

_Yes, you do. You stiffen at Uncle's embrace. You dare not touch him. You bark orders at your men, the same men you have spent two years with. You have never made friends along the way. You have your "priorities". Those are fearful excuses. You fear rejection…_

Perhaps

_You fear that you are not good enough. You fear that people will stop wanting you. You like people to depend on you. You like to feel needed. You like to be the center of attention. You're nothing but a child. _

And now I'm insulting myself…

_This is not insulting. This is being truthful. You are afraid. You fear constantly, and so it drives you to succeed. You think that when the Avatar is captured and you return home, everything will be fine. It will still be the same riddle. You will fear your father's rejection. You will fear your sister's coldness; you will fear Iroh forgetting you. You will fear loneliness._

I fear nothing.

_You're a liar._

You lie.

_And why would I lie to myself?_

You're nothing but a doubt. A disgustingly childish doubt. Go away; I don't need you bringing me down.

_Go away? And where will I go to? The furthest recesses of your mind? I'm already there. You don't dwell on me. You forget me. You try to discard me. I will not leave, Zuko. _

Go away…

_Make me._

Go away!

_You can't. You are always afraid. You fear everything._

I fear nothing.

_Everything_

Nothing

_You're a coward. _

You are a liar.

_A coward and a liar is what you are._

I don't like this conversation.

_You don't like yourself._

I like myself fine.

_You're a liar._

I…

_Have run out of excuses…_

Hate…

_You won't say it…_

Nothing.

_You coward. _


End file.
